Old Growth, New Growth

I was lying out on the hammock in the dark a little earlier tonight, and there was just enough light left to notice once again how full and bushy the willow tree above the hammock is this summer. It is full of new growth.

There are several enormous old willow trees on this property. I had told my landlord that they needed trimming, as there were many old, dead limbs hanging out which could come crashing onto the roof of this little house I rent. The landlord hired someone to come and trim away the dead growth on the trees closest to the house, but left a few other trees untouched.

I went out tonight, in the dark, unable to see exactly what I was photographing, and took photos, first of one of the uncut trees, still hanging onto its old dead parts, and then the tree above the hammock, trimmed clean and showing its vibrant new growth.





And I realized that I am also full of new growth, like that tree. And, like the trees, it involved first letting go of old growth, to make space for the new to come. My new growth doesn't show as much on the outside, like the tree growth does, but it's there all right.

I was looking at myself in the mirror tonight, and noticing that I looked younger. And I said to my reflection: "It's because I have released the Demon of Misery which I'd been holding onto for so long." Yes. I have. I have finally let go of the Demon of Misery. And I know that this demon was one of my own creations, so it was mine, and only mine, to deconstruct. It was my personal life responsibility as a Human Creator. I could have chosen not to let go of my Demon of Misery, it would have been just as valid a choice, but I'm glad I chose release, instead. My reflection in the mirror smiled back at me, agreeing with all I said and thought.

All is Well

"After dark,
the Devil
plants a garden
in my dream."

That is what someone has spelled out, from the set of magnetic words, on the refrigerator here at the Zombie Free Youth Shelter where I work. I wear different hats here, but one thing I've been doing for the past four plus years is the overnight supervision shift. This involves mostly just being here during the night to ensure that the kids are sleeping alright, and not sleeping with each other or doing anything else they're not supposed to be doing. And then, in the morning, seeing that they get up and get ready for the day ahead. There are periodic room checks throughout the night. And usually, everything is OK during those checks. Or at any rate, things appear to be OK. The kids appear to be sleeping.

But what about that Devil, and that garden he is planting? Their Devil is for the most part invisible to me, just as mine is to them. But the difference is that I know that my Devil is just ME, wearing a Devil mask. When it sneaks up on me and says "BOO", it doesn't have the effect that it used to. My Devil has become rather transparent these days, and it doesn't come calling as much anymore.

The youth I supervise, though, their Devils are still solid creatures, breathing down their necks with breath that stinks of earlier terrors and perceived injustices. When they look for it, they can easily spot it all around them. Sometimes they see it in me, or one of the other staff members. Sometimes it's in their family. Sometimes it's in the other kids, or in their boss, or in their probation officer. Their Devil sneaks around, planting gardens and making trouble for them. Their Devil is a hard wall they are banging their heads against. Their problems seem to be that Devil's fault. That's how it usually goes, anyway. But every now and then, a kid begins to get suspicious that the Devil may not be 'out there'. In fact, they begin to see the Devil more easily when they close their eyes, look within, and move towards accepting personal responsibility for what exists in their lives. And that is when their Devil first begins to lose power over them, and the Devil's garden grows less abundantly.

As I wander the halls in the wee hours, while the children sleep, I talk to their clear Inner Beings, and I remind them that all is well. Sometimes I hear their Devil snicker in return, holding fast to the lie, but more often I feel their Wise One, their hidden Wise One, agreeing with me. Yes, no matter what the Devil appears to be planting in the night, in the light of day, in the light of truth, it is known that All Is Well. And so it is. Sweet dreams to us all.